This is a short guide to basic comfortable, clean anal sex. The goal is to give specific, step-by-step instructions to get you from idle fantasy to reliably taking a cock-sized object with ease.

If any step here is not working for you, please let me know. This is the distillation of quite a lot of trial and error, but in the process I likely have forgotten all of the little steps that were nonobvious at first.

The most critical advice: practice on yourself. Receptive anal sex is an acquired skill involving muscle control and proprioception. Advice on the internet often involves warm baths, candles and “relaxation”, which is all well and good until you have a dick shoved up your ass. You should plan to practice all of the steps in this guide before letting anyone else put things in your butt. For this learning phase, practice alone to avoid any pressure to perform.

The “lessons” should take place in three sessions, over three distinct days. Don’t rush to do this all in one day, give yourself time to build muscle memory.

The preparation and cleaning will seem daunting and maybe somewhat icky. The solution is to be horny. In fact, go edge for 15 minutes and then come back.

It’s all worth it.

Standard Disclaimer

Anal sex should not hurt. As you try more ambitious feats you may feel discomfort, fullness and stretching. If you feel friction, pain or burning near the sphincter, stop and get more lube. When in doubt, use more lube - really, use way more than you think. That’s what towels are for.

Don’t put random objects in your butt. Butt plugs should have a base substantially larger than the neck. Use platinum-cured silicone, glass or stainless steel - stay away from vinyl and other plastics.

Supplies

Buy some supplies. The basic supplies to get started are:

• K Lube - Powdered lube is better than liquid, because we can adjust the hydration ratio. Plus it’s way cheaper.
• 60ml Catheter Tip Syringes - Syringes work double duty as enema bulbs and lube shooters. They work better than the dedicated sex toy and are cheap and easy to clean or discard.
• 4oz twist-top squeeze bottles - Used to dispense lube and water
• Towels - Consider buying some extra cheap ones just for sexy times
• A Dildo- I like this one for beginners

As you progress, you may want to invest in

• Shower enema - Makes cleaning much easier. Get one with a stainless steel head, not silicone. Can be converted for use on a toilet as well.
• Oil based lube: boy butter - Makes skin nice and smooth, coats toys evenly, doesn’t dry out. Downside is that it is white, which can be aesthetically unappealing. Not compatible with latex condoms.
• Silicone Lube - Good for exterior surfaces, human anatomy and glass or metal toys. May interact badly with some silicone toys, although I haven’t had this problem. Don’t mix with water based lubes. OK with condoms.
• Butt Plugs - Some small ones to start. Other favorites are
  • Lovehoney Glass Plug - very firm and substantial, hard to ignore
  • b-Vibe Snug Plug - weighted with a small neck. great for walking around
  • Lovesense Hush 2 - vibrating and app-controlled
• Psyllium Husk Powder - Keeps things well-formed and regular
• Chlorhexidine Skin Cleanser - To clean toys. Has a nice antiseptic smell

Be careful shopping while horny or you may accidentally end up with a large quantity of expensive, ambitiously sized toys. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

As soon as you get the K Lube, fill a squeeze bottle with hot water (not quite to the top) and add a heaping 1/2 teaspoon of lube powder. Shake vigorously and leave overnight to hydrate. If you don’t have dedicated squeeze bottles, you can probably find a sport cap disposable water bottle at the local convenience store and scale up accordingly.

If you have them, start taking psyllium capsules + lots of water every morning.

Cleaning

By now you should have, at a minimum, some water-based lube and a syringe or enema bulb.

The goal for this guide is to learn how to clean your rectum (and no deeper). This should take about 10 minutes. I recommend doing it twice, once ~30 minutes before play and again immediately before.

The main failure mode here is in using too much water and accidentally triggering an hour-long cleanse of your whole colon. The goal here is to repeatedly fill and expel, until it all comes out clear. This should take 5-10 iterations.

I like to use the toilet for the first few rounds, then finish up in the shower.

Steps:

• Lubricate the tip - any lube works for this, silicone is best since water will wash away. Face wash works fine too.
• Get a big bottle (or other container) of water, or fill a stopped sink.
• Fill the syringe either by drawing from a container. Try to expel any air bubbles.
• Insert the tip of the syringe just barely into your anus and fill your rectum.
• Inject another syringe full of water*
• Sit down on the toilet
• Expel the water forcefully
• Repeat several times until clear.

* Each round should have enough water that you are able to forcefully expel it, but not so much that any gets past the rectum. 2-3 full 60ml syringes is about right for me.

While retaining water, clench your pelvic muscles as if straining to poop; the goal is to block off the sigmoid colon to prevent water from entering the intestine. Experiment with different forms of clenching until you can retain a substantial volume of water in just the lower rectum, without feeling any leak into the sigmoid colon.

Cleaning will often trigger your digestive system to start moving more poop down the tube. For optimal chances of fully poop-free play, I recommend cleaning 30 minutes before play and then again immediately before.

Shallow cleaning should be sufficient for penis-sized objects. For deeper play, you will want to do a full cleanse. On a bad day this can be a 2 hour ordeal. This aesthetically questionable infographic is nonetheless useful to understand the anatomy.

This all seems daunting, but after the first few successful sessions, it will become second nature. Plus you’ll learn to associate it with getting fucked, and everything is easier when you’re horny.

Lesson 1

Put down a towel and get naked. Get your 4oz bottle of thick water-based lube and fill another bottle with plain water. If lube on you or your toys starts to dry out, squirt a little water to help get things slippery again.

Start by getting horny. You should probably be masturbating through all of these practices. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Your first goal is to learn how to control your anus. The best tool for the job is your own fingers. Toys simply do not give the fine-grained biofeedback necessary to learn at first.

To practice, lubricate a finger and your butthole. Gently rub the outside your anus with your finger while experimenting with muscle relaxation and contraction in your anal and pelvic floor muscles. Don’t shove it in, the goal here is just to get biofeedback from the finger. This should not hurt at all - if anything starts to rub or sting, use more lube.

You should be able to feel with your finger when your external anal sphincter relaxes. Gently probe in and out of the external sphincter, paying attention to the connection between your muscle contractions and the tension felt by your finger. Once you can consistently relax the external sphincter beyond its resting state, use your finger to gently push lube into the first inch or so of rectum. Again relax your anus and check whether you can feel a reduction in tightness around your finger. Without dropping that relaxed state, do it again. You should eventually be able to get three or more discrete levels of relaxation. Insert deeper or use more fingers as you feel comfortable. Explore stimulating the rectal walls, try to find and gently stroke your prostate if you have one. Your own fingers are not the best tool for actual pleasure (other people’s fingers are), but the feedback is important.

Spend at least two separate sessions practicing this before moving on to Lesson 2. Make sure that you can reliably trigger and maintain a noticeable relaxation around your fingers.

If you can, try just leaving a bottle of lube in the shower and casually practicing this when you shower for the next few days.

Lesson 2

The goal of this lesson is to get comfortable with sustained fullness. Repeat all of the steps from Lesson 1. Take your time.

Suck up about 15ml of water-based lube in a syringe. Squirt it in your butt. Then take a butt plug or dildo and coat it in lube. Gently prod in and out until your anus accepts the toy. Go slow, remember how it felt to relax when you used your finger.

Leave the toy in and do something else. Masturbate, read a book, whatever. The point is just to get accustomed to the feeling of having something inside you. You might feel cramping or discomfort - this should go away in a couple minutes. Once you are comfortable, try removing and inserting the toy a few more times.

Lesson 3

The goal today is to learn that vigorous motion does not imply pain or friction. Start with repeating lesson 2, if you have taken a break. Get comfortable with feeling full.

Coat a dildo with a metric fuckton of lube. Squirt a bunch more in your butt. It should be messy, it should be stringy and sticky. You can try using less some other time.

Lay on your back and insert the dildo. Start stroking in and out - for the first few strokes, go slow and get the lube nicely distributed.

If you have a prostate, it will be located about two inches in, just behind the penis. Try rubbing on that a bit.

Then try speeding up. Find a good angle and give nice long deep smooth strokes. Try lying on your side or with your ass up. Experiment until you find something that feels nice.

Congratulations, you’re an anal whore.

Troubleshooting

If you feel any pain at all, stop and diagnose the issue. Usually, it will be that there is a dry patch on your toy with no lube. Add some more lube, and if that doesn’t work (some toys are annoyingly hydrophobic), try using a condom on the toy.

If water-based lubes aren’t working for you, boy butter or similar hybrid oil-based lubes may help. Oil-based lubes also help for larger toys and especially for long butt-plug sessions where water based lubes may dry out.

Numbing lubricants should never be necessary and are a bad idea. Poppers are fun and can help with really vigorous fucking, but I am not confident in their overall safety.

The simple cleaning method is not 100% successful. You will occasionally find that some poop makes an appearance. The good news: decent tops will either casually kick you back into the bathroom to finish cleaning up, or tactfully ignore small strays. With small insertions, you’ll find it’s not much of an issue - things tend to stay inside and not make any mess. With larger toys, you’ll need to get a shower enema and do more extensive prep.

If none of this is working for you, reach out to your local sexy experienced buttslut for one-on-one tutoring.

Have fun!

I have met people of all genders and sexual orientations that enjoy taking it up the butt. There is nothing that I’ve experienced that matches the sense of release and sensory overwhelm that comes from a hard pounding or stretching.

Ramblings

Lube

I recommend owning both water-based and oil-based lube. Not all lubes are created equal!

• Water based: K Lube. Definitely get a powdered lube, like K or X lube. I don’t recommend J lube - it’s mostly sugar by weight, so it tends to be less concentrated. Powdered lube is always the way to go: Pre-mixed water-based lube dries fast, gets sticky and is too thin to stay in place. I like to mix my lube at about 2x the concentration recommended on the bottle, but you can experiment as you like. Remember that for lubricant to work it needs to form a film between the moving surfaces. For the most part, thicker and goopier lube does a better job. Very thick lube starts to get hard to apply, as it forms big strings and dislikes being poured in small quantities. A good way to apply water-based lube is to fill a 60ml syringe (see below) with lube, lube up the syringe itself (preferably with oil-based lube, the plastic doesn’t wet well) and squirt it as deep as you are comfortable and likely to be inserting things.
• Oil based: boy butter. Technically boy butter has silicone lubricants as well, but I haven’t had any problem with silicone compatibility from it. In a pinch, coconut oil works pretty well too. The main use cases here are for lubricating the external part of the anus, where water-based lube tends to dry and get sticky, as well as smoothing the surface of silicone toys, which often are hydrophobic enough to cause painful dry patches when used with water-based lube alone. Also good for hand jobs/masturbation to prevent chaffing (water-based lube just gets sticky).

Cleaning Supplies

• 60ml Catheter Tip Syringes These substitute well for both a lube injector and a portable enema. They can be washed and re-used, or disposed of as you see fit. The fact that the plunger can be pulled all the way out is helpful for filling from a sink or bottle of very viscous lube - just cover the tip with your finger while filling. Make sure to push out the air before squirting things into your butt, or you’ll make some distinctive noises.
• Toilet enema. I have a jury-rigged system based on the narrow tipped nozzle from the CleanStream shower set plus some plumbing hardware to replace the 1/2NPT shower hose with 3/8 COMP toilet fittings. I really like this system - you can chill, fill, dump and repeat at your leisure. Set it to a gentle pressure, hold the tip barely touching the anus, fill up just the rectum and release 3-5 times. If you fill too much it will get up past your sigmoid - this is useful if doing deep play but takes much longer to get out and can precipitate a chain reaction of shitting that extends your cleaning session from 3 minutes to 30 minutes. Works best in warm climates - toilet inlet water is not heated…

Last modified on 2025-07-06